Fight the good fight ... bring on the sultana threat

So how come gen x women can manage multi million dollar business concerns, go toe to toe with baby boomer old dudes bent on protecting their turf, face off union showdowns and stop work meetings yet when it comes to getting breakfast into a just five year old and just three year old we stumble ...

I know why - you can't sack your own children .... you can't demote them to the basement office, you can't give them a written warning, you can't give them the ten minute 'you are so close to the edge you'd better think of growing wings' lecture ... all you can do is try to get thru it and out the other side to somewhere sunnier ...

It goes like this - should mention MIC (man in charge - husband and father) is away this weekend so I am home alone .. First breakfast goes well - fruit is ate, plates are returned to the kitchen and all is good. Sunday kids TV is on for an hour (or two) and we are all happy campers.

Now things start to slide ... I can see second round hunger is coming on fast - time for a protein hit - bring on the toasties - rice cakes (we are a gluten free house) 1/2 with sardine -e -oes and melted cheese - and 1/2 with corn beef and cheese - yummieo ...

Flat refusal to engage - sit up please boys - no - sit up now please boys - NO NO NO - five year old says - very earnestly - "Now mum let me tell you what I want" I cut off at the pass - "No this is what we are having to give us some bouncing energy for the trampoline". Five year old counters with "No I won't eat it" quickly echoed by the three year old.

I go straight to the heavy artillery " Sit up by the time I count to five or all the sultanas in the house will go in the bin and I won't be buying any more" (I can hear the gasps now - poor children - sultanas are the treat !! or from more enlightened attachment parenting types - oh dear how can she use food as a weapon).

So now all three of us are siting up - I am the only one eating ... and yes I am eating sardines too as they work equally well on adults as children.

So the stand off continues .... I move to step two "Start to eat your sardines now by the time I count to five (I use to count to three but that seemed insufficient time for processing) or I will throw out the sultanas".

Five year old counter attacks with " You have already used the sultanas mum" (threat he means). I restate the equation and add a new tenseness to my voice. Now the three year old follows up with rear action "I want milk - I won't eat these sardines till I have milk"

"No milk" I say "but once you eat your sardines then you can have milk and (here is the sweetener so they still love me) plus two carob buds (yes sugar free I am afraid - taste like dirt to me - but if it is all you know I suppose it could be appealing).

Faces light up, sardines are eaten, milk arrives and carob buds are presented and we move on into the day safe in the knowledge that omega threes are eaten, calcium via baby bones is had and mum saved almost enough face to go on and mother for another 12 hours until she can tag dad and return to the workforce tomorrow and kick some gen y butt - without the threat of throwing out the sultanas ....

Someone give me strength, patience and the insights to be a great mum - these two boys are works in progress that I don't want to stuff up in any way shape or form ... after all when all is said and done our kids and connections with family (blood or not) are what makes life what it should be - with or without sultanas ....

Enjoy your Sundays people :)