So your life is perfect, all is well with your universe and one is happy as a pig in muck ... pllleeease who has this simple view of life ... not me, none of my gen x girlies and surrounding buddies. We all lead complex, sometimes confused lives, full of fun and games, tears and tantrums, humour and love.
Yet a recent reader of my blog thinks I sound unhappy. Well not unhappy - just functioning thru the usual ups and downs of wedded bliss, mothering joys, workplace pressures and time poor friendships. My life is a mixed bundle of joy, love, laughter, tiredness, tears (not usually mine), sharing, caring and considerable fuss and bother.
Am I any less happy than other gen x women working hard to be a wife worth having, a mother who is delievering, a friend who is giving, an employee worth paying ... I think not - but eh thanks for the concern.
I would suggest that I approach blogging with a sense of fun, a desire to rant, some underlying scarasim, a wee bit of wit and for the anonymous factor ... not because I am over archingly unhappy with my lot in life.
Please give me a break and take a long look at oneself and put energies into making that work - believe me if I was unhappy I would take measures more effective than blogging to fix my lot.
Thanks though for the concern ...
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Just an idea ...
Some of us gen X girlies have an idea .... a bit of thought maybe .... if for some reason all our significant others end up on a bus that goes over the proverbial cliff then we might just sell up the family home, move to a rural seaside location, buy a sprawling estate on the edge of town and just be.
Some of us would nurture, some of us would earn dollars, some of us would be sporty, some of us would be arty, some of us would be scholarly and some of us might even have another baby.
And all of us would enjoy having the pool boy, hay boy, garden man, odd jobs lad or whatever you want to call him come a knockin every week or so to reign down on us with his sexual favours.
No one, not one of us wants a man to move in a a permanent basis. We have been there done that and while it is fun for a time it can become tiresome, irksome and plain pain in the butt some after a while.
If we found a man we liked lots we might even build him a wee cottage down in the far corner of the garden with a big occupied / unoccupied sign for the door and keep him for fun times.
Hmmm always good to have a contingency plan as life does throw the odd curve ball .... anyone want the last two seats on a guys only bus trip to Cape ....
Some of us would nurture, some of us would earn dollars, some of us would be sporty, some of us would be arty, some of us would be scholarly and some of us might even have another baby.
And all of us would enjoy having the pool boy, hay boy, garden man, odd jobs lad or whatever you want to call him come a knockin every week or so to reign down on us with his sexual favours.
No one, not one of us wants a man to move in a a permanent basis. We have been there done that and while it is fun for a time it can become tiresome, irksome and plain pain in the butt some after a while.
If we found a man we liked lots we might even build him a wee cottage down in the far corner of the garden with a big occupied / unoccupied sign for the door and keep him for fun times.
Hmmm always good to have a contingency plan as life does throw the odd curve ball .... anyone want the last two seats on a guys only bus trip to Cape ....
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
And off to work we go ...
This morning was a rare occurrence ... the wee babes stayed in bed till 6.55am - usually they rise and shine and shout and run and jump from around 5.20am .... hooley dooley batman .... we did not get out of bed till 7.00am .... I leave for work at around 8.10am ... so first I complete the usual wifey chores - put away last nights washing up, fold five loads of laundry and put away, make the odd bed, plus did some mummy stuff - a star on the star chart for the five year old for bed making, found the three yr olds blue teddy etc etc etc ... and then see the clock says 7.40am - must drop mummy wife me and become work me ... into the shower I head - with a word to MIC - off to shower now - which really meant you're it in the parenting stakes daddy ....
Somehow MIC missed the key point of the message and went outside to hand water the new plants (we are in a drought - using our own water supply - not town water thanks very much). This means I am in the shower when the three yr old - lets call him darling boy - DB - decides to go off like a nutter ....
I continue the showering thing expecting MIC to intervene ... no such luck - I end the shower while communicating at great decibels with DB - Mummy is in the shower - come into the bath room ....
The pitch and noise levels rise - I wonder how MIC cannot hear and attend such an obvious drama as blue teddy falling out of DB's bag .... I attend - dripping wet - nude and fast running out of time to become work me ....
We sort blue teddy back into the bag but now something is wrong with dora the explorer dolly .... - I open the blind - give the neighbours a full waist up nudey morning delight and call MIC inside to take on the drama of dora ...
Over the next ten minutes the drama deteriorates, DB ends up sobbing and for all intents his world is ending, MIC and I exchange some none too pleasant observations with each other on how best to parent a three year old with some unresolved separation anxieties.
DB declares that he hates dad and wants mum ... MIC and I exchange a couple of heated words and now I am on my way to work ... dearie me ....
Before leaving peace is restored, DB has blood sugar levels back under control as MIC spoons in yogurt and rice flake cereal, the first born (FB) five year old comes in from an outdoor adventure oblivious to the dramas that have been in play.
I farewell all with kisses on cheeks - leaving lipstick smudges which the FB thinks is ever so funny - MIC and I give each other the sorry eyes for previous displaced anger from the DB breakdown ... and DB gives MIC a series of wee hugs to show that he really does not hate daddy afterall .... all this in a 20 minute timeframe and now I have to go and be a high function exec who is managing a server upgrade in the office today - joy to the world ....
Somehow MIC missed the key point of the message and went outside to hand water the new plants (we are in a drought - using our own water supply - not town water thanks very much). This means I am in the shower when the three yr old - lets call him darling boy - DB - decides to go off like a nutter ....
I continue the showering thing expecting MIC to intervene ... no such luck - I end the shower while communicating at great decibels with DB - Mummy is in the shower - come into the bath room ....
The pitch and noise levels rise - I wonder how MIC cannot hear and attend such an obvious drama as blue teddy falling out of DB's bag .... I attend - dripping wet - nude and fast running out of time to become work me ....
We sort blue teddy back into the bag but now something is wrong with dora the explorer dolly .... - I open the blind - give the neighbours a full waist up nudey morning delight and call MIC inside to take on the drama of dora ...
Over the next ten minutes the drama deteriorates, DB ends up sobbing and for all intents his world is ending, MIC and I exchange some none too pleasant observations with each other on how best to parent a three year old with some unresolved separation anxieties.
DB declares that he hates dad and wants mum ... MIC and I exchange a couple of heated words and now I am on my way to work ... dearie me ....
Before leaving peace is restored, DB has blood sugar levels back under control as MIC spoons in yogurt and rice flake cereal, the first born (FB) five year old comes in from an outdoor adventure oblivious to the dramas that have been in play.
I farewell all with kisses on cheeks - leaving lipstick smudges which the FB thinks is ever so funny - MIC and I give each other the sorry eyes for previous displaced anger from the DB breakdown ... and DB gives MIC a series of wee hugs to show that he really does not hate daddy afterall .... all this in a 20 minute timeframe and now I have to go and be a high function exec who is managing a server upgrade in the office today - joy to the world ....
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Fight the good fight ... bring on the sultana threat
So how come gen x women can manage multi million dollar business concerns, go toe to toe with baby boomer old dudes bent on protecting their turf, face off union showdowns and stop work meetings yet when it comes to getting breakfast into a just five year old and just three year old we stumble ...
I know why - you can't sack your own children .... you can't demote them to the basement office, you can't give them a written warning, you can't give them the ten minute 'you are so close to the edge you'd better think of growing wings' lecture ... all you can do is try to get thru it and out the other side to somewhere sunnier ...
It goes like this - should mention MIC (man in charge - husband and father) is away this weekend so I am home alone .. First breakfast goes well - fruit is ate, plates are returned to the kitchen and all is good. Sunday kids TV is on for an hour (or two) and we are all happy campers.
Now things start to slide ... I can see second round hunger is coming on fast - time for a protein hit - bring on the toasties - rice cakes (we are a gluten free house) 1/2 with sardine -e -oes and melted cheese - and 1/2 with corn beef and cheese - yummieo ...
Flat refusal to engage - sit up please boys - no - sit up now please boys - NO NO NO - five year old says - very earnestly - "Now mum let me tell you what I want" I cut off at the pass - "No this is what we are having to give us some bouncing energy for the trampoline". Five year old counters with "No I won't eat it" quickly echoed by the three year old.
I go straight to the heavy artillery " Sit up by the time I count to five or all the sultanas in the house will go in the bin and I won't be buying any more" (I can hear the gasps now - poor children - sultanas are the treat !! or from more enlightened attachment parenting types - oh dear how can she use food as a weapon).
So now all three of us are siting up - I am the only one eating ... and yes I am eating sardines too as they work equally well on adults as children.
So the stand off continues .... I move to step two "Start to eat your sardines now by the time I count to five (I use to count to three but that seemed insufficient time for processing) or I will throw out the sultanas".
Five year old counter attacks with " You have already used the sultanas mum" (threat he means). I restate the equation and add a new tenseness to my voice. Now the three year old follows up with rear action "I want milk - I won't eat these sardines till I have milk"
"No milk" I say "but once you eat your sardines then you can have milk and (here is the sweetener so they still love me) plus two carob buds (yes sugar free I am afraid - taste like dirt to me - but if it is all you know I suppose it could be appealing).
Faces light up, sardines are eaten, milk arrives and carob buds are presented and we move on into the day safe in the knowledge that omega threes are eaten, calcium via baby bones is had and mum saved almost enough face to go on and mother for another 12 hours until she can tag dad and return to the workforce tomorrow and kick some gen y butt - without the threat of throwing out the sultanas ....
Someone give me strength, patience and the insights to be a great mum - these two boys are works in progress that I don't want to stuff up in any way shape or form ... after all when all is said and done our kids and connections with family (blood or not) are what makes life what it should be - with or without sultanas ....
Enjoy your Sundays people :)
I know why - you can't sack your own children .... you can't demote them to the basement office, you can't give them a written warning, you can't give them the ten minute 'you are so close to the edge you'd better think of growing wings' lecture ... all you can do is try to get thru it and out the other side to somewhere sunnier ...
It goes like this - should mention MIC (man in charge - husband and father) is away this weekend so I am home alone .. First breakfast goes well - fruit is ate, plates are returned to the kitchen and all is good. Sunday kids TV is on for an hour (or two) and we are all happy campers.
Now things start to slide ... I can see second round hunger is coming on fast - time for a protein hit - bring on the toasties - rice cakes (we are a gluten free house) 1/2 with sardine -e -oes and melted cheese - and 1/2 with corn beef and cheese - yummieo ...
Flat refusal to engage - sit up please boys - no - sit up now please boys - NO NO NO - five year old says - very earnestly - "Now mum let me tell you what I want" I cut off at the pass - "No this is what we are having to give us some bouncing energy for the trampoline". Five year old counters with "No I won't eat it" quickly echoed by the three year old.
I go straight to the heavy artillery " Sit up by the time I count to five or all the sultanas in the house will go in the bin and I won't be buying any more" (I can hear the gasps now - poor children - sultanas are the treat !! or from more enlightened attachment parenting types - oh dear how can she use food as a weapon).
So now all three of us are siting up - I am the only one eating ... and yes I am eating sardines too as they work equally well on adults as children.
So the stand off continues .... I move to step two "Start to eat your sardines now by the time I count to five (I use to count to three but that seemed insufficient time for processing) or I will throw out the sultanas".
Five year old counter attacks with " You have already used the sultanas mum" (threat he means). I restate the equation and add a new tenseness to my voice. Now the three year old follows up with rear action "I want milk - I won't eat these sardines till I have milk"
"No milk" I say "but once you eat your sardines then you can have milk and (here is the sweetener so they still love me) plus two carob buds (yes sugar free I am afraid - taste like dirt to me - but if it is all you know I suppose it could be appealing).
Faces light up, sardines are eaten, milk arrives and carob buds are presented and we move on into the day safe in the knowledge that omega threes are eaten, calcium via baby bones is had and mum saved almost enough face to go on and mother for another 12 hours until she can tag dad and return to the workforce tomorrow and kick some gen y butt - without the threat of throwing out the sultanas ....
Someone give me strength, patience and the insights to be a great mum - these two boys are works in progress that I don't want to stuff up in any way shape or form ... after all when all is said and done our kids and connections with family (blood or not) are what makes life what it should be - with or without sultanas ....
Enjoy your Sundays people :)
Friday, January 4, 2008
2008 don't be late ... it will start without you
So it is 2008 .... more of the same ... some of the same is worth having more off ... my babes are a joy, my man boy husband can be a delight, my nearest and dearest gen x girlies are fabbo. But life is complex, full, challengeing and fast paced ... hours slip by and bam the year is gone.
I blinked sometime in March 2007 and then opened my eyes again and it was December ... somehow eight months of a year passed by without me really knowing how ... and now my two year old is a three year old, my four year old is a five year old, my darling brother and his brilliant wife and four boys are back from the far north, I have been married for seven years - a personal best - and I am approaching 41 years young - ouch !
Being an Australia Day baby I am use to low key celebrations - as a kid we were always on school hols so no big in classroom celebrations. So this bday I am having family over at morning tea and then (drum roll pls) three of the best of the best gen X Brisbane based girlies over to mum's place for arvo tea ... A child free, husband free, testosterone free zone ... Yippeee yi ya :) I am very much looking forward to this as all four of us share common life themes ....
1) late to mothering
2) first child starting prep this year
3) husbands we love and detest in nearly equal parts
4) professional qualifications that have no relation to parenting
5) frustrations with parenting/love/life/work/self balanaces
6)motherloads of guilt associated with various aspects of life
7) a love of chocolate
Well my window for self indulgent random thoughts has just closed - back to paid employment for now ...
I blinked sometime in March 2007 and then opened my eyes again and it was December ... somehow eight months of a year passed by without me really knowing how ... and now my two year old is a three year old, my four year old is a five year old, my darling brother and his brilliant wife and four boys are back from the far north, I have been married for seven years - a personal best - and I am approaching 41 years young - ouch !
Being an Australia Day baby I am use to low key celebrations - as a kid we were always on school hols so no big in classroom celebrations. So this bday I am having family over at morning tea and then (drum roll pls) three of the best of the best gen X Brisbane based girlies over to mum's place for arvo tea ... A child free, husband free, testosterone free zone ... Yippeee yi ya :) I am very much looking forward to this as all four of us share common life themes ....
1) late to mothering
2) first child starting prep this year
3) husbands we love and detest in nearly equal parts
4) professional qualifications that have no relation to parenting
5) frustrations with parenting/love/life/work/self balanaces
6)motherloads of guilt associated with various aspects of life
7) a love of chocolate
Well my window for self indulgent random thoughts has just closed - back to paid employment for now ...
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